I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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