Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
