There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
