you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
