Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
