You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
