What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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