Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
