Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
