Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
