sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
