So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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