Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Vodka?
Forever.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
