Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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