I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize