You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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