Me. At least after what I've been through.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
