I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
