She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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