STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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