Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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