i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
