"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
