I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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