your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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