i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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