he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize