Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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