i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
