just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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