He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize