How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
