I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
