Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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