I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
