Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize