just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
