I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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