May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
