Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize