i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
