I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
