just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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