Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
