Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
