he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
