Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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