i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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