She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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