And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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