She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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