I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
