it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
