I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I puked a lego.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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