Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We got so high we made milksteak
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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