did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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