I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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