I smell stomach acid.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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