I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
no you cant smoke seaweed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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