whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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